4NAIJA: Why go through life without a meaningful relationship?

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Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Why go through life without a meaningful relationship?

When trust is holding you back from fostering deep connections with someone you care about, you constantly feel nobody understands you, when you don’t trust others you are depriving yourself of human connection and authentic living.
Maybe you used to feel safe sharing your hopes, dreams and demons, but not anymore.
And did you know lack of trust in others represents an immature ego that hasn’t developed resilience and frustration tolerance. You have to build trust in yourself before you can trust another. Follow this 10 ideal to help you build your trust
  • Recognize that all humans are comprised of “good” and “bad” parts. In other words, we’re flawed beings.
  • Accept your dark, unsavoury, and primitive parts. Change what you can, and accept that you will never be fully evolved.
  • Work on tolerating strong, intense emotions like distress, hostility, rejection, intimacy, and love.
  • be conscious of projecting those feelings externally because you don’t want to deal with them.
  •  Leave your past betrayals behind. Resist the urge to dwell on those who have wronged you, and refuse to let these experiences get in the way of fostering healthy relationships now.
  • Manage time. Trust means suspending instant gratification. While waiting for a call, a job offer, a favour, or an answer, lean into the downtime. Instead of defaulting to controlled substances, incessantly texting another person, or going into panic mode, find healthy ways to keep your mind occupied.
  • Know that the world is basically a safe place, and believe in the inherent goodwill of others.
  • Learn to accept that when someone betrays or compromises your trust, you can withstand uncomfortable feelings of rage, rejection, hurt, and uncertainty. You will not fall apart and self-destruct because you haven’t thus far.
  • Forgive yourself for projecting onto others and for lashing out. We’ve all been there, done that.
  •  Realize others cannot “get” you if you don’t get yourself.

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